You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
