There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
