our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
