I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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