ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
