shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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