I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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