It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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