I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
