Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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