I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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