I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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