I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
