dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
