Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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