I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
