I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
