and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
