Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize