How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I did not marry a roomba.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
