remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
