Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
