Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
