hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
