I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
