I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
