get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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