my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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