I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
