mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
