My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
