Screwed.edu
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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