I feel like abortions should bother me more
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
