I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
