My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
