Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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