Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
