i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
