the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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