Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
