help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
