I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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