when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
