I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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