the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
