I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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