I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
