Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
