i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
