I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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